Tuesday, April 11, 2006

There is a God

I’m not much into the celebrity gossip thing but when I heard that David Spade has been dating Heather Locklear, I just felt it was proof positive that every average Joe fan boy out there has a shot. I mean jeez, “Joe Dirt” is nailing “Sammy Jo”? How cool is that?
Growing up in the 80’s, if you didn’t spank it to Heather Locklear at least once through puberty you were either Gay or a Communist- probably both. Now Dave has also nailed Lara Flynn Bole and Kristy Swanson-which is nothing to sneeze at, but scoring with Heather is like finding the frickin’ Holy Grail. This chick is apple pie personified (crazy fact: Heather Locklear didn’t make the cut during cheerleader tryouts at her high school, WTF??).

David, well played-you could die tomorrow a winner in the game of life.
Nailed Heather Locklear…does he even play a guitar??